Pattinathar - 4
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| Pattinathar |
The previous three articles on Pattinathar covers his life story. Here's another take from few selected online articles in tamil.
SriKalahasti
A picturesque siva temple for Sri Kalahasteeswaran. Many saints have praised the deity for hundreds of years. Sri Kalahateeswaran set up his temple very close to Sri Balaji in Tirupathi. Pilgrims from Chera, Chola and Pandava kingdoms reach a common town first, then Shaivaites head to Srikalahasti and Vaishnavites head to Tirupathi. Using any method of transporation, it used to be custom for people from far away places to see these temples once in their lifetime.
One day, some thousand years back: The temple was busy as usual. Hundreds of chariots and horses were tied around the parks when their owners were worshipping. Inside the temple came a divine voice singing in praise of the lord:
"After ten months one was born, then play around wearing silk and are adorned with pearls and gems.
After running and playing, at the end of life, it is pity to see the future dead souls crying over the one dead body! Oh Lord Kalahateeswara!
A gold smith benefits from gold he makes and not vice versa. Likewise, i do benefit from you oh lord, but what use do i have for you!
Lord! I was eating, sleeping and enjoying pleasurable activities. But when somebody dies you make us cry. Oh God! when can we see you!"
The voice said "Om Namasivaya". The crowd roared back "Hara Hara Mahadeva". That great man, wearing only a loin cloth and having a sugar cane as a walking stick came out of the sanctum. The crowd fell on his feat and worshipped him.
Outside the temple, he sat on the temple complex, and the crowd shouted "Long live Thiruvenkadar". Just then, the crowd realised the disciple standing close to him - it was king Badragiri. A father was explaining to his son, the saint sitting with a sugar cane is Pattinathar also known as thiruvenkadar. His primary disciple king Badragiri is standing next to him.
Pattinathar says:
It is my duty to tell my life story. For some of you looking at me, you may wonder if renunciation (becoming sanyasi) at a young age is a good thing? Or is it worth it? It is my responsibility to explain family life and renunciation to all. When one becomes a sanyasi after experiencing family life, he can explain the good and bad easily to others. It will help who is entering a new phase in life.
Renunciation at young age is good for those who decide early or for those who acquired wisdom from god. The experience won't be same for others who doesn't live the family life and experience it. I recommend all to immerse in family life. If it is pleasurable, continue with it. Only those who can't stand it can come out. May be 1 in 100 fall in this group. then, those who teach will be less and those who listen will be more in numbers. If everyone becomes a teacher, where to search for a student?
In the family life, i didn't stop at earning wealth, i gathered experiences too. The ships that sail out of Kaveripoompatinam (Poompuhar town) to far away countries, return with bricks of gold. I gathered my experiences standing on that shore. If the world is made of particles, i know what each particle is made of. I understood the meaning of each laugh and cry.
I could have continued my life after gathering all these experiences. But it is a big sin, if i don't share it with others. That is why, i'm visiting temples and towns in this sanyasi form and teaching. I do not know where my final breath will be.
Listen now, I'll share my story of how i attained true wisdom:
I was born in a merchant family that normally does business overseas. When the Chola kings are crowned, it is customary for the wealthiest in the kingdom to handover the crown. For three generations our family had the honour. You can guess how wealthy we were.
My father is Sivanesan chettiar (Chettiar family name/caste) and mother is Gynanakalai Aachi. After my birth, i was adorned with gold jewels. My cradle was decorated full of gold and nine gems. My guru wrote "Hari Om" on sand with my index finger. I didn't realize then that i'll be understanding God's philosophy someday.
Being a playful kid, i ran around with ankle bracelet. Studied ten days a month and played the rest. I played with the kids on Cauvery river bed on horses and buffaloes. I wondered why buffaloes won't run fast like horses? Probably god set it up that way, so the Yama (God of death)(Buffalo - Yama's vehicle) will do his job slow and less.
My dad was worried that i didn't study well. mother wasn't saying we have enough wealth for ten generations. All this was before i turned six. My dad passed away. The whole city came for the funeral. We had twenty stores in the city. Four in the streets with merchant who do overseas business.
After Dad passed way, the responsibility to run the family and business fell on me. My uncle (mother's brother) helped us in conducting the business and managing the household. His name is Sivachidambaram Chetty. His wife is Sivagami Aachi.
I forgot to mention this: I have an elder sister - Thillaiammai. My uncle had a daughter named Sivakalai. My parents named me "Swetharanyan". Some of you may already know this, but i explained the names so new comers will know too.
I spent time thinking on human nature and characteristics when i was ten. You may wonder, that young? It wasn't due to clear thought, but out of pleasure and curiosity.
My family had twelve ships and one is for my dad's personal use. Twenty crews were working for him. My dad had a special room decorated and maintained to keep him feel at home. I always wished for a trip overseas. With some of my friends we set to sail. Out in the ocean, i realized how small we are compared to the land. I didn't realize it then, but later that even family life is similar - you fall and realize how tiny you are.
Once we reached the shores, i was pitiful looking at their life styles. They know our ship, and gathered to welcome us all. You go next door, you were pampered, you go to a different country, you were pampered. I never saw poverty from birth. Even though i know it is for the wealth and not for the person, the respect and pampering is enough to boost your ego and make one arrogant.
By age sixteen, i became involved in the business. If you know basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division you can run a business. This is the best time of my life. When i ride the chariot from home to my store, how many girls will be waiting. They know the time and will be present every day. Some shy ones will hide behind the curtains to look at me. It is customary to get married by five years in my family. Somehow, even by age sixteen i wasn't. Many of those girls wanted me as their husband and their parents were trying all options to make it work.
My sister got married by age eight, but with tradition she stayed in our house till she was eighteen. My uncle also wished to marry me to his daughter. I was interested in a girl and wanted to marry her. Sivakalai was mad about this and talked to my mother. One day my mother said it wont' be good if we choose a girl from outside the family and wanted me to marry my uncle's daughter.
I finally consented, and went with the wedding. She was a playful girl, and frankly i was worried. the wedding happened and the whole city was celebrating. It is a custom to not serve the three fruits (mukkani - Mango, banana and jack fruit) and that prestige is reserved only for king's wedding. We broke it and served the same. Our tradition and customs is all within the saiva traidition.
After marriage, somehow Sivakalai was totally changed. She was very quiet and highly respectful of all. After five years, my mother started to worry that we didn't have any kids. There is a saying, "there is nobody who lived well for more than three generations and nobody suffered for more than three". I was in the third generation - is it going to end with me?
My mother suggested marrying a second wife to have a heir. I consoled my mother, it is not right when she is alive and i'm not interested in a second relation. I'll leave it up to the god to decide what is good for me. My mother agreed hesitantly. My wife was listening to this conversation and i can see her tear-eyed. We went to many Siva temples. That is the second option to all who don't have kids. I wasn't concerned about having a kid, but for mother's sake we decided to do search.
Sivakalai cried thinking whether my mother will change her mind again. I wiped her tears and surprisingly i heard a baby's cry. Surprised, i asked her if she heard the same. She said no. When she cried again, i wiped her tears again, and the cry repeated. I was thinking, God what a miracle this is. When asleep, i had a dream. A old couple is sitting in my front porch. When i got water for them to wash their hands and feet, i was staring at them. I asked them what they wanted, they replied, we don't want much, but please save our child. I didn't see a baby in their hands. I asked them where are they coming from? Where is the child? They replied, We came from Thiruvottiyur, the baby is in Thiruvidaimaruthur.
I wondered what's happening - none of it makes sense. They gave an old saree and ask me to make a cradle (swinging cot). When i opened, i saw the Nandhi from Chidambaram temple. they disappeared. I woke up from sleep yelling. My wife got up, and i told her about the dream. I consoled that it is possible god is playing an experiment. I wasn't sure if god wanted me to go a pilgrimage between those two temples. I told my mother about this. She asked us to get some jewellery for the temples on the way and send us off. On our way out, my sister came and said some "good words": do you really think a child is going to be born in thiruvottiyur after all these years> She has three kids. If we don't have any, she is thinking all of the wealth is for her family. Let her think, talk. There is no relation if we look for nuisance.
We started our journey. Suddenty Sivakalai began to sweat in cool weather. She started to cry again. When i wiped her tears, i heard the same cry. Is it an illusion? I looked outside and saw a tree. Close by is a cradle and a older couple sitting nearby. they seem to be the same ones from the dream. I went with my wife to them and asked where they were from? Thiruvidaimaruthur was the reply. I looked at the cradle - the same saree, same nandhi picture. I bowed before him and said "Child..." hesitantly. He replied, the baby is ours, he is born after a long time and we are very poor. We had a dream to hand over this baby to Pattinathu Chetty and get gold for baby's weight in return. We were tired and hungry and stayed here to rest a while.
His eyes were watery, and i don't know what happened, i went and wiped his - surprisingly this time i heard the baby laugh. We took them back to our place. I have no doubt this child is godsend. We wanted to make this adoption a big ceremony. My sister was arguing not to adopt a baby from different cast. She is (Tamil:) Tamakai (elder sister) who thinks everything should be hers (Tamil: Tamake vendu). This is just a joke i'm telling and not written in any sastras.
We did the gold weighing for the baby (Thulabaram - presenting ones weight in gold). It appeared to pull more gold than weight. Finally we put the gold chain we bought for the Thiruvidaimaruthur temple and the scale was equal.
The ceremony was grand. We named the child Maruthavanan. At right age we sent him to school. Like father, he wasn't interested. I was thinking, God even your kid doesn't want to study. When teacher questions his student, he does the reverse and asks him question. I thought education is not part of our family. To teach him to protect the wealth, i took him to the business.
He took a gemstone and asked what will happen if he threw it in fire. I replied, it'll be burnt to ashes. He then took a dried cow dung and asked what will happen if it was thrown in fire. Ashes, i replied. Such line of questions, made me think he is good for nothing. My mother suggested sending him with other merchants overseas to experience and learn the trade.
He was happy and was looking forward to it. He proclaimed, Dad, i'll go and get you never before seen wealth. I patted him and praised that's what i wanted too. After eighty six days, the ship returned. The playful kid is now a siva devotee. He seem to put the full vibuthi i kept in the ship.
He carried a small box in his hand, and asked me to supervise the load. I asked my workers to bring them to shore. Instead of boxes, came sack after sack. I thought, gold and gems should be tied like this in a sack. I opened one and saw full of husk and dried cow dung. Anger got me and yelled at a worker to carry a sack to home.
I was searching for him a frenzy angrily. Surprised by my anger, my mother wondered what was going on? I told her, look what your grandson acquired from abroad and angrily kicked a sack to the wall. I was taken aback. It was full of gems inside. It wasn't just husk, but gold pieces covered like that. My joy knew no bounds. In one ship he got much wealth that one could imagine. I wanted to hug him and called him.
My mother said, son, he is a playful kid. He gave this box for you and told not to search for him and went out. I thought what kind of miracle he is pulling this time.
Inside was a eyeless needle and a scroll with words
"Even an eyeless needle won't accompany in your last journey".
(Tamil: காதற்ற ஊசியும் வாராது காண் கடை வழிக்கே ).
I saw the mansion circling before my eyes. The gems were falling out of it. My mother appeared like Shakthi (Lord Shiva's consort). My son appeared as Lord Muruga in my dreams. I have known so many things before this, but this small message came out of nowhere. Instead of calling "son", my mouth uttered "Lord". Wisdom born.
I realized in a second how impermanent materialism is. I ran to my house and took vibuthi. (vibuthi is ash). In my hand, i wondered how the ash is attached to hand which is soon to be a ash too (after death/cremation). I understood that even body is temporary in this world. Somebody was shouting "It's all LIE! LIE!" inside my head. Wife is a chain (handcuff), with wealth, that cannot be broken. I wondered if anything is permanent. I went upstairs and looked at the city.
Those who want to know where the items are extends their hand; those who beg too extend their hand. Even the wealthiest run in search of money; and the poor does the same. The merchant who lies accumulates wealth; and those who speak truth suffer the most.
To keep wife happy and secure, wealth is needed; to keep wealth safe, wife is needed. Without money, family is a pain. If you want to run, relations put a break. It's like the monkey trying to move the wedge.
Song: You tell lies in search of wealth, you have relationship with ill,
like the winged ants coming out of the ant hill, you'll have many kids;
you don't know how to raise them; nor do how how to leave them;
you suffer like a monkey with the legs between a split branch trying to remove the wedge;
I saw the waves hitting the beach. The coming ones are desire; the receding are full of wisdom. I decided to go back. My societal dharma is accomplished. Wife is happy, now i have to focus on my duty. No one can accuse me of running away from my responsibilities.
I decided to leave the family life - become a sanyasi. I told Sivakalai - she cried and decided to follow renunciation by staying at home. I remembered an ancestor who went this path before and we were praying with the clothes he wore. I took it from her and went to my mother's.
First my wife, now i left the chariot and walked. The whole street looked at me wondering why i was walking. I told my mother what happened. She didn't cry and said, she "expected this". I seek her blessing to wear the dress. She asked me to open it in front of her. when i opened, i realized it is not full clothing, but only a loin cloth for chastity. She said, Son, this belongs to my father-in-law. He used to say, those who fully renunciate shouldn't wear full clothing, that's why i asked you to open this. Second wisdom born - even full clothing is materialistic; it is a burden.
After wearing it, i came back to get her blessings, and she asked, son now the burden on body is gone, but how is the burden on your mind? Is it gone too? She continued, Mind is like a dog, it'll follow you. I cried and told her, "i'm leaving now and will come back". She said, a sanyasi should "go" (from the house) and not come back (meaning = once they decide to become a sanyasi, they should leave materialistic desires and go - coming back is an indication of still having attachments to house and items). Third wisdom was born.
I cried and said, "mother! i'm leaving". She stopped me and said, one shouldn't go without completing their Self-duty. A son should do the final rights for the mother and that is your final duty. I asked her, so saying "going and coming back" is right? No, she said, the right thing is "i'll come" (and not come back). "Coming back" is human word, meaning it still shows attachments. A sanyasi shouldn't have those. Fourth wisdom was born. Before i left, she tied something in my waist and said, if this opens, i'm in my deathbed. Do come wherever you're. God only knows what he talked to her.
She told me to go the Ashram constructed by the elders to get blessings. This ashram was constructed to help people in need and for travellers to take rest. I felt immense respect for the sanyasis coming out of the place. Sri Sivananda yogi was sitting on top of a tiger skin. I fell down to get his blessings. He opened his eyes and understood.
He said, "for the one bathing in water, fire will be hot, for the one bathing in fire, water will burn, those who sit in the middle, will be hurt by both. For you, if you decide to go back to old ways, it is not possible". He blessed me and said a siva mantra in my left ear. I heard a vishnu matra at the same time in the right ear. I realized Brahma is one. Outside, they were issuing a begging bowl for those who don't have any. I got that and went back to get my first alms from my mother.
The whole town was watching by now: "You have your house, your mother, you wife, relations, kids, cows, calves, all wealth you accumulated, but what have you become now". I went and asked for food. My mother came out and said, son are you still rich? I asked, what made her think like that? She said, you left the house and wealth, but still own a bowl for begging. Fifth wisdom was born. I went to throw it, she stopped and told me to keep it. But don't be attached to it.
Next to my wife, who did the alms in tears. Next stop is sister. She was waiting for me and forcefully asked me to come in side. Before i had my first bite, she stopped and said "Brother!". We are the only kids to our parents. somehow you are changed like this. If something happens tomorrow and you become mad and write the estate to somebody, what will happen? Can you transfer it to me with evidence now?
I didn't laugh, the food she gave did. Even if it is to a beggar, we live in a society which expects payback. I told her, after my death, you're going to get it, why bother. She wasn't convinced. I left the food and walked out. On the road there was a family fight between brothers. One said, to get rid of the sin, i need to do a circle the temple lying on the floor. i decided to do the same.
I slept at the ashram. Next morning, i heard my sister fighting with my mother. Some lady was singing, "Pattinathu cheeti paradesi andandi" (the wealthy man became a sanyasi). I gathered experiences. the noise of money didn't bother.
At night, my sisters kid came to see me in the ashram and were very attached. They asked me to forgive their mother - i replied, God will do that. they gave a pancake (appam) that his sister made. After they left, i opened it and found a blue layer in the center. It was poison, i decided to test it and at night threw it at my sister's roof and said, "our own deeds hurt us; the poisoned cake will burn the house" and came back. Next morning, i heard the house was on fire. when the sun came out, the cake melted and the poison burned the roof.
While in thiruvidaimaruthur, the pouch in my waist opened and fell. It had rice and salt. I cried "mother". I ran to my place. I was wondering if i can atleast have few words with my mother. By god's grace she is able to utter few and happy to see me. She passed her final breath. My sister demanded no one should open any boxes or touch anything. She was actually shouting at my wife. I didn't utter a word. My mother is no more. If i'm still a family many, there is a chance she will be born to us again. There is no chance for that now.
My relatives got involved and decided to split the wealth - one part for sister and rest for the wife. They asked me, and i replied: everything for the temple. My sister, then tried to stop me from cremation duties. That wasn't accepted either.
Listen. If you leave considerable estate behind, there is no one to worry about you. Only if you don't have wealth, others will cry. If you have wealth, they'll think "when will he die?". On the other hand, if you have no estate, you have to be there to provide support. The body was taken to the cemetery for cremation. I cried uncontrollably. I forgot i became a sanyasi and became a child again. I sang few verses:
"Oh mother, in which birth will i see you again? You spent ten months carrying me with all the pain. You'll be in pain, if i got hurt, you cleaned me and nurtured me.
Oh mother, how can i put rice in your mouth? for this mouth was the one who called me Honey, Amritha (sweet nectar) and treated with such.
The fire from lord siva burnt the tripuram, fire lit by lakshmi (ramayana - janaki: source Kirupananda variyar) burnt lanka, fire in my mom gave birth to me - if these three fire were true, let the the fire i lit now shall burn". when i said that, without firewood or any fuel, the body was cremated.
I continued, "In this fire, the hand that fed me, that protected me from birds and insects is burned and turned to ashes. She has come to you oh Lord - she forgot me and made her journey forever. She was there yesterday at home, then in street now is burnt to ashes. All of you please turn to lord siva for his grace".
It showed what we think as permanent life is only temporary and this is god's rule. she wouldn't have happiness or suffering anymore. when will i reach that stage? God, please don't give me rebirth and the same suffering again.
I prayed:
"My mother got tired carrying me and giving me birth.
My legs were aching being in many mother's womb.
Even lord brahma (veda) got tired of writing my fate again and again.
Oh Siva of Irupaiyur, please save me from being born again".
I started my journey to south, planning to visit temples in Chola kingdom, then to Chidambaram and Sirgazhi and finally try to rest in Thiruvottiyur. I realized this is not possible as my sister kept sending spies and gundas to get hold of the wealth. They blocked me again in chidambaram, but the disciples with me fought hard and save me. I decided to go north and see Ujjains' Maha kali instead of staying here.
Ujjain (Ujjayini)
The place where Goddess Maha Kali rules. She is the Rudra form of Shakthi Devi. She presents as not only as destroyer but as a protector and giver. Many merchants from south visit ujjain and Kalinka in north. Ujjain is particularly famous as they didn't have much taxes. You'll see products from world wide for sale and easy to find one in four who speak tamil.
when we walked in the streets, people were laughing at us - because they are not use to seeing anyone walking with loin clothes. Suddenly, everyone was pushed around as the king was making his way from the river to his palace. We didn't move and the bodyguards tried to push us aside.
The king noticed and asked me, "who are you?". I replied, it is the same question every human asks and wants the answer.He continued, "where are you from? " - "From the womb." "Where are you going?" - "To the cemetery" "What are you doing here?" - "It is a drama between" "Where are you staying?" - "Under the sky" "Answer me properly, I'm the king." - "The same one is answering too" The king hesitated for a while. The guards approached me, but king showed restraint. After the king left, the whole street was in shock and surprise. The tamilians there know about and prostrated to get my blessing. They know me as "Pattinathu chetty" (City dweller) and not as Thiruvenkadar. All of them requested me to stay at their place.
We decided to stay in hostel close to Kali temple. The housekeeper is from the same city as ours, and we were welcomed and treated well. By night, i was reading some scrolls. The doors were never closed there, and a north indian sanyasi came in at the time and sat close by. He was fully covered with saffron cloth and had sandal paste in his face.
When i started reading siva puranam, he started singing sirungara puranam (love song). I got mad and looked at him. He sang another one. I replied back with one arguing how sinful it is to get into the love side with women. We continued:
He said, "Even Siva has a Sivagami"I replied, "Yes, Siva's lust can give birth to world, What can ours do?"
"Those who lost vitality (or become old) will fall in such philosophy" - "Only those who forgot philosophy will fall into lust" "A unmanly's philosophy will only suit him" - "Wisdom is the one which tested the extremes of manliness and came out" "If i get a woman everyday, even i'm a family man (Samsari)" - "A sanysasi is one, who doesn't want one even if he can get multiple women a day" "I've heard of Nadhimoolam, rishimoolan (origins), but yours is new, i don't know" - he said. - "Even when i had a wonderful wife, it is the eyeless needle that showed me the truth" - i replied. "If one attains enlightment because of a needle, how long will it take for it to comeback in someother ways" - If that was from a prostitue, it'll return soon, but this one is from true intelligence and will come all the way" "Relatives are bad, companion is bad, that's why you're in this state" - "Without proper knowledge, everything will be bad, once you understand the truth, you'll do the same like me" "you haven't seen a chaste wife (pattini), hence you became a Gynani" - "Mine is not a roadside story, but a god sent life" "If you have a mind, you'll have one woman" - "Any girl can have two minds" - i replied. "Generalising is idiots nature" - "Being a fool is full wisdom" "Is this true with (goddess) Shakthi? Is the philosophy the same?" - "Shakthi is higher level and is different than samsaram" "What about king's wife" - he asked - "Even they have many minds" - i replied.He turned towards me and said, "Understand who you're talking to" - "I talk the same when talking to God" "Ask for forgiveness as you talk low of the emperor" - "I don't ask for one even from god"He said, Look at me. I turned and saw King Badragiri. I said, For a sanyasi, king is no use. He said, "You know what will happen if i get mad?"
What can you do to truth? (Now, Badragiri standing closeby bent and touched his feet). He stormed out of the place. My disciples were concerned what will happen next? I consoled them, When king is angry, you'll face death, but when god is angry, you'll end up in hell. Don't worry about death, worry about ending up in hell.
A while later, the guards came and took us to prisons. We were all kept in separate rooms.
What happened next? Let Badragiri explain.
Badragiri explains:
After the arguments with him, i didn't get mad, but kept me thinking. I went to the palace and paced myself. I kept thinking how all women can have many minds? he said even shakthi isn't exempt. My queen is god-like and she has only one mind and is fully on me. For night, there is only one moon and for day, there is only one sun. I'm for her and she is for me. I relaxed a bit. She walked to me. I looked at her in moonlight and thought, how innocent she is, how can the sanyasi be possibly right?
Looking at my face, she was concerned and asked, why in such deep thought instead of sleep. She embraced me and my worries disappeared. She is not from a traditional royal family. I know a lot about romance. Being with her the first time, made me think she is the best. She poured some wine. The secret came out. I told her, the story and asked if she has two minds. She was mad and asked who can say such a thing?
She kept me in drunk state for a while. In the morning she went to prison with my minister angrily. I let her go. I'll let swami continue the rest:
Pattinathar continues:
What difference does it make - whether a prison or a temple. I got up and did my prayers. We all sang in praise of the lord with my disciples repeating each line. She came in.
"Hey Aandi (mendicant/Pakir)" - she said. - "Yes, i'm also singing about one" - i replied."What else can Aandi sing about" - "Even a king is an Aandi before god""Like the ashes on your forehead, even your body will burn" - "Do you think your body is of gold""Look how much ego a sanyasi has?" - "Even i was a samsari once""Do you know who this is?" - "A hair from lord siva's leg is dancing before me""I'm the crowned queen of Ujjain" - "Is the Ujjain kali next to you in power?""If i become the Kali (angry form), that Kali will be like my child" - "If Kali is a child, i'll sing a lullaby""If you have power, why can't you break this prison and come out?" - "I'm not a sittan (power/magician), but a Devotee""How can you tell even i have two minds" - "I told even the great Shakthi has too""Do you think you had shown somebody of greater statue than me?"
I laughed. She got mad, and started cursing the goddess. I told her, "when the wind blows, a small dust can fly higher than a mountain. But the mountain will never be lowered to a dust"
Her anger rose, and called on the guards to put me to death the next morning in Kazhu (A conical form with sharp point made of iron or wood, lubricated. The prisoner will be set on it, and the death will be slow and painful as it pierces the body). She left.
I wasn't dismayed. If one thinks they're already dead, when the real death comes, it is just a formality. If the fate is such, a person born in a different state has to die in Ujjain and if it the word of lord SriKalahasti, who am i to stop this? I heard the disciples cry in next cells. How much i taught them about death and educated them. They're still crying.
I remembered a story from childhood. After Lord krishna's bhagavat gita, and the war, when Arjuna's son Abhimanyu dies, Arjuna was crying. Tears dropped from Lord krishna on Arjuna. When arjuna asked, why krishna was crying as he didn't lose a son, he replied, look i spent so much time in explaining the gita to you and how to be strong, and look how soon it was wasted.
Next day at sunrise i was taken out for sentencing. I don't know what happened to the king - later from him, i came to know he was kept drunk the whole time surrounded by maids. The guards lifted me and sat on the kazhu. I sang these lines: "God, i realised whats happening here is not due to my deeds, but non other than yours. It is not due to what i was going to do in the future; but because of the sins i did in my past and in my previous births". After that, i don't know what happened and fainted. I woke up in the prison, and the guards told me the kazhu caught fire and burnt to ground. I don't know what miracle that was.
Badragiri continues:
Even i didn't understand. My wife was telling he was doing some black magic and was concerned. After three days, i noticed my wife was nowhere to be found and only saw the maids keeping me happy and comfortable all the time. I thought she was still baffled about the day, and decided i'll do it myself. I went to the prison to convey the sentence myself.
He replied, "Perhaps, god kept me alive that day, so i'll die in your hands". I asked for an apology, and swami replied, to no one other than god. I stormed out saying, "be prepared in the morning to die". He replied, you can try now if you want - go get some sleep in the palace.
I went back to the palace and dind't find the queen - i wanted to convey her that he is going to die tomorrow. I searched the rooms and didn't find her anywhere. Somehow i was drawn to the staple, and what i heard shocked me. She was in intimate relationship with the horse-keeper. The discussion shed some light on recent events:
She asked her paramour, whether he ate the fruit she gave him that promised a long life. He said, no, i gave it to my mistress Kamini. During the last few days, the same Kamini gave me the same fruit out of respect. In that stage, i couldn't ask her how she got it in the first place. Now i understood. The beautiful wife of the king Badragiri, is in relationship with an ugly looking horsekeeper. I realized the power from swami's words. One mind is flower scent and other is sewer. She said, the king will be poisoned before the morning.
Pattinathar concludes:
Once you come out of the relations, thinking of old sins, it will still make you cry. When you touch something unworthy, wash your hands and not keep smelling it. King Badragiri became a Gynani because of the women.
I was asleep in the prison. I heard sobbing outside. I opened my eyes, and saw Badragiri standing ouside. I remembered my words about his wife. I asked whether he or I should open the door. He gave the keys, and i opened. He said, Swami, you didn't just open this prison door, but my wisdom eyes. I thought you'll come in the morning to see me die, but looks like you were about to die.
I consoled him, saying not all women are bad and behave. She is such a low life, and there is no other way anything else will happen. He asked me for my advise. I told him, Leave her. He wasn't convinced and wanted to sentence her to death. He asked whether to leave her alone or even the kingdom? I deferred to decision to him - decide whether you want to lose your shirt alone or your dhoti too. He asked me to accompany him to the palace. After arguing with his wife, he sentenced her to death by shaming her first.
If someone is angry and mad, he can listen only when the anger is gone. Likewise, when Badragiri felt peace, i gave him advise. He said, he'll join me right away. When we came out the palace, the queen's dead body came on horse back - it fell down when he stepped close. He stepped aside and continued his way.
First alms from the palace; and then repeated every street. I was amazed how a king from north is well versed with Tamil language. He learned it from a poet who migrated from chola kingdom. The kingdom sent his king with tears.
We stayed in a small kali temple. At midnight, a dog's bark can be heard, and we found it gave birth to a puppy. Normally, puppies are born, but this time, we saw only one and is of female gender. After birth, the dog passed away, and i realized what happened. It was the queen who just died is born as a puppy. Badragiri followed me as my primary disciple.
After the Kali temple, i didn't carry a bowl for begging. I used my hands for begging and eating. Once, a beggar came and asked me for food. I told him, listen, i'm like you, but you'll see a family man close by - go and ask him. Badragiri came running and asked why i referred to him as a family man? I replied, you own a bowl and a dog - doesn't it make you one? He threw the bowl and it fell on the dog and it died too. The sins disappeared.
We walked through a sugar cane field, and the farmer gave each of us one. When i tasted, the bottom side was sweet and the top bitter. I asked him why, and he replied, it is like life - start with sweet, but ends up bitter. I thought the lord itself came and gave this advise and started to carry one everywhere.
My sister and her husband died soon after and their kids came for my blessing in SriKalahasti. This is our story of how we attained wisdom.
God is responsible for everything. He takes repsonsible for birth and death. A mothers womb and a cemetery is part of his kingdom. That's why he dances in the cemetery. Say "Om Namasivaya" three times and take the vibuthi. Srikalahasti gave farewell to Pattinathar and Badragiri.
